The lower of the lowest

my mind sees a constant delirium
the only thing can save me is my own hand.
and i can´t take it off of the damn "rewind" button.
how i could i be so unfortunate..?
And I can´t erase either that winning expression of your stupid face.
Know what? you haven´t won yet.
Something more? This is not even a competition. I am talking about feelings
Meanwhile, i see you, lying in this floor, losing the conscience.
If yesterday i could drown me in your eyes
now I can´t raise my head and find you falling at the lower of the lowest.
I would like to drain me the entrails and to give both of you to drink my blood
then, you could experience a piece of my suffering, my pain.
Although it doesn´t seem enough for me.
The greatest possibility is that seems really sadistic,
but i know what to suffer word means, i felt it in my own flesh
and if it seems as it were throwing up my inside, welcome to my brain.
sometimes I become that hateful being who is writing now.